Today

Today I realize what happened. It should have never happened. I hope it never happens again. The aftermath is somewhat blurry, but I spent some time thinking about what happened. I understand that I must do something. But what? Today is after it happened. So how can I make a difference on the past? But I cannot remain silent. I have to approach the situation again. I have to try to stop what happened from happening again. What happened can happen no more. Not in broad daylight like it happened. Not at all. Not today and not tomorrow. Never again can I let this happen. Because I let it happen. I just have to be in the right place at the right time, like yesterday. Then I can stop it from happening. But why didn’t I do anything yesterday? What if I freeze again? This fear surrounds me. But it is legitimate. It took two and a half hours for the adrenaline to seep out of my veins after it happened. Today I must prepare myself for it happening again. Mentally, I am reseting my mind. I cannot approach what happened with my selfish personal application again. It is beyond me. I must understand that. And yet it is so in my control, my sphere of influence. It is my responsibility. It will not happen. So now I can sleep tonight. Sleep with the peace of it never happening again. Today is a new day. A day to realize the wrongs of yesterday and prepare to fix them tomorrow. And I am prepared. I have run the event over in my mind so many times. I am like an actor, memorizing his part in the play. Today I can breathe. Today I can move. Today I can look back and stop what happened yesterday from happening tomorrow. Today I figured out what happened. It did not happen today.

Colin and Co.