Heart Specialist

you see right through my

happy charade

ask an innocent question

"what do people do to make you mad?"

and I walk into a biology lab

dissect me. Take a peek

into my hidden anger

observe my discontent–

and you not only discover

cancer in me,

you know the cause.

You offer me treatment:

silent understanding.

I take it in gulps,

for need of another

to know the pain I suffer

and be quiet soul comfort

Colin and Co.

the children giggle in fields of sand

their parents converse on the edge

nothing but happy sounds

quiet rustling sheets and the

shish

of dry skin on dry skin

the old couple snuggle

in Sunday afternoon nap

two young friends

walking step in step among

brown puddles of slush

splash

ugly setting for the life they begin

together on this day

wind whispers in my ear

a distant voice floating inside

singing

'close your eyes

shut your mouth

hold your breath

and listen'

Colin and Co.

#22

The Russians got a game

plan to foil

Team Canada has a name

in Dan Boyle.

He sets his face in a scruntch,

Afinogenov

won't get away with that cruntch

in the corner.

He chases him down the hot ice

eyes on prey

he's on his Russian ass twice

'fore he can pray.

Maxim's team explodes in a boil

a scrum ensues

the Canucks defend their man Boyle,

a round of booze

for fans all over this great nation

in an Olympic hockey celebration!

Colin and Co.

Language is a Disease (only some Suffer)

a patient of language has

succumbed to the word

death

could this mean less than life?

and yet hopeful

pee / eh(ch) / dee's

hypo,the,size

the paradox and dichotomies will resolve

themselves with a small dose of irony.

haha

"The construction worker

(building word towers)

will suffer due to the harsh environment

he is required to work in. But these towers

are so admired

it's a worthy price to pay."

ja.

The patient takes this in

alcoholically

with the realization that (t)his death

is worth more than life,

thank you.

Colin and Co.

This poem is colourful on too many levels.

elephant grey skies

+

Ferrari red cheeks

=

cold winter ecstasy

water blue t-shirts

+

sand gold skin

=

wet summer foolishness

emerald green accord

+

chocolate brown eyes

=

hot hiway love

Colin and Co.

While on vacation in Madrid

the ego fought with the id

and lost

The cost

of enacting unconscious desire

a home will be set on fire

Though the house still stands

all hope is hanging on strands

of kin

The sin

not only our lives we tore

but the little ones we bore

Colin and Co.

Information

"...The Writings of Colin and Co." will be on hiatus from Feb. 15 - Feb.21 for Reading Week. The fact that I haven't missed a day in this blog since I started the end of January suprises me.

In other news: I have been working on a self-published book for almost a year now. I had one version printed and I thought I was happy with it, but it turns out I am a perfectionist and I ended up making numerous changes. I am now on version 3, and I hope to print some copies this week. If you are interested in obtaining a copy of my tiny book entitled "Miserable Comforters," you know how to get ahold of me. The cost will be $5 per book.

Thanks for reading.

Colin and Co.

Equations of Order

I went first.

We are supposed to be a team

working together towards a common goal

living a life void of lies

building a home to live in one day

sharing secrets and setting boundaries

taking steps in the right direction

comforting eachother through trials

running the race set before us

laughing at our weird habits

believing in eachother when we fail

a team that knows

this game doesn't end

on planet earth.

We are supposed to be a team.

But I went first:

jumped the gate,

ran the yellow,

butted in line,

ate before everyone sat down.

down.

we fall.

I was disqualified = you had to run solo

I was t-boned = you were stuck in traffic

I was sent to the back = you faced humiliation

I choked and died = You ate by yourself

They say

'the first will be last'

I'm last, you're alone,

we're done = it's my fault

don't forgive me.

Colin and Co.

Syncopation

the speed of the clock

Is constant.

Time races as friends laugh and play

Rainy days drag like

clogged arteries.

The clock speed is not

the speed of time.

tick-thump-tick-thump

the rhythm of the heart

Is not constant.

Nervous excitement builds up pressure

Cuddling with someone special

till two tickers synchronize.

The heart beat is

the beat of life.

Colin and Co.

The Prodigal Son

This is another poetry assignment from the workshop I took at Carleton last semester.

It follows one of the most complicated forms I have ever seen. It is a Welsh form called, "Englynion y clyweit." Here are the rules:

4 verses, 3 lines per verse, 7 syllables per line, each line in each verse must rhyme, each verse must ask a question with the first line introducing the question, the second line describing the question, and the third line must be a sort of proverb by itself, but can fit into the other three lines in the form of a question.

On top of this, our teacher asked us to pretend we were poet lauriates for Canada, and we had to write an 'Englynion y clyweit' about the georgraphical area we reside.

OK, here it is.

The Prodigal Son

Have you seen the poor man strive

Marching down Meadowlands Drive

Strength and will cannot survive?

Is this how we're meant to die

Cold, alone, unjustified

Empty hearts are lost in time?

Did you hear the gunshot ring

Silver bullet glistening

Open flesh bleeds suffering?

Can we turn this life around

Place our feet on solid ground

What was dead is safe and found?

Colin and Co.

Come, O Lord!

I've followed ten

commandments

to obey You,

read sixty six books

to learn Your plans,

I've worn Your cross

on my sleve and

played Your music

out of my speakers.

I've gone without food

I've gone without sex

I've gone without friends

because You were mine.

I've given ten percent of my finances

forgiven seventy seven times

served in Your Body

told others about You.

But none of this matters,

unless You change my heart.

I long for Your love.

I await the day when

temptation will cease,

when tears will be

of pure joy only.

I ask for

patience

endurance

forgiveness

Fill me with Your Spirit.

Create in me a pure heart.

I want to love You,

because You loved me before

I turned my back on You.

I want to know You,

because You knew me before

I opened my eyes in blindness.

I want to see You

Face to Face,

for today is a mere reflection

of Your Glory.

Marana tha

Colin and Co.

I need a new obsession...

today shinny round steel balls

roll fixed in stale grease

against iron crank shaft

with a sprocket on the right

pedals dangle on either side

where caterpillar boots lie

running round rusty chainlinks

circling clockwise five gears

selected by salty derailleur

attached to a one point one

millimeter cable leading

to slider style shifter

right hand adjusts according

to how fast we can travel

based mostly on elevation

or obstacles on pothole paths

as my legs push down left

then right repeating my sekine

takes me on thirty five

year old tires at thirty five

kilometers per hour

to my destination:

school.

Colin and Co.

Bluefish

in a crowd of blue fish

on a baby blue backdrop

you are the goldfish that stands out

orange

glowing against the fresh water

like green toxic radiation

in lake Erie or Ontario

in this crowded body

cloudy dihydrogen monoxide

fish swim in infinite directions

except

you are the only one swimming

directly towards my eyes

mouth open in a smile

in a boat above the deep

I float to find you once again

break the surface between us

scoop

you gently in my hand to bring

us back together in clear air

no longer will I be blue

[now that I've got you]

Colin and Co.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow it will not happen. I will intervene. I will stop it from happening again. I will put a stop to what happened yesterday. Tomorrow I will walk towards the parking lot. Tomorrow I will see the smiling girl. Tomorrow her smile will not fade. It will never fade because tomorrow I will stop it from happening. Tomorrow I will forget to pay attention to the weather. I will smell no sausages; I will hear no busses. He will come skipping along towards me, but tomorrow I will stop him. I will stop him from happening to her, the smiling girl. She does not deserve what happened yesterday. They do not deserve it. So I will stop it tomorrow. There will be no rollerblader tomorrow. Just a few bikers who will miss my encounter with the happening by two minutes. Tomorrow I will choose the exact time to intervene. I will step forward as his skipping will stop at the still smiling girl. Before their eyes can meet, before it can happen, I will make my move. Before he can touch her, I will touch him. Before he can hurt her, I will hurt him. Before he can wreck her, I will wreck him. I will grab his arm, he will start like a cat, like a cat who has just been found out. He will see the concern in my eyes, I will see through the veil in his to the danger under the surface. We will stare at the soul through the eyes of the other. We will see the tears in her eyes as she remembers yesterday. He will see the determination in my eyes as I remember today. I will see the the fear in his eyes tomorrow. Tomorrow this parade of chaos will end. Tomorrow what was wrong will be made right. Tomorrow will bring hope for new life. It will not happen tomorrow.

Colin and Co.

Today

Today I realize what happened. It should have never happened. I hope it never happens again. The aftermath is somewhat blurry, but I spent some time thinking about what happened. I understand that I must do something. But what? Today is after it happened. So how can I make a difference on the past? But I cannot remain silent. I have to approach the situation again. I have to try to stop what happened from happening again. What happened can happen no more. Not in broad daylight like it happened. Not at all. Not today and not tomorrow. Never again can I let this happen. Because I let it happen. I just have to be in the right place at the right time, like yesterday. Then I can stop it from happening. But why didn’t I do anything yesterday? What if I freeze again? This fear surrounds me. But it is legitimate. It took two and a half hours for the adrenaline to seep out of my veins after it happened. Today I must prepare myself for it happening again. Mentally, I am reseting my mind. I cannot approach what happened with my selfish personal application again. It is beyond me. I must understand that. And yet it is so in my control, my sphere of influence. It is my responsibility. It will not happen. So now I can sleep tonight. Sleep with the peace of it never happening again. Today is a new day. A day to realize the wrongs of yesterday and prepare to fix them tomorrow. And I am prepared. I have run the event over in my mind so many times. I am like an actor, memorizing his part in the play. Today I can breathe. Today I can move. Today I can look back and stop what happened yesterday from happening tomorrow. Today I figured out what happened. It did not happen today.

Colin and Co.

Yesterday

Yesterday it happened. I was walking to the parking lot when, right before my eyes, it happened. I saw the girl and her smiling eyes. She smiled right until it happened. In fact, I couldn’t see any reason for the smile to fade. But that was before it happened. The sun was high and everyone was shaking off their winter clothes. With a skip in his step, I saw him pace towards me. I didn’t see it coming, but it came. It was a slow motion kind of video in my mind. But it was as plain as day. Then the guy on his roller blades blew by, just missing when it happened. What a day he would’ve had! The roar of the bus bellowed in the distance. They seem to invade every situation. Like this one. But that roar faded to a hum when it happened. All my senses were heightened. I felt as if I could taste a barbeque that was roasting sausages on the other side of the river. I could swear I read the button on his backpack as he turned when it happened. But I forgot what it said because it happened. Life went to slow motion when it happened. I felt as if this was the climax, the apex, the meeting of every circumstance and situation that I had ever been through in my life. It all came together when it happened. There she was, smiling; there he was, skipping towards her; there I was, watching it happen. The bus was humming away, almost inaudible in my ears. My stomach stopped growling, forgetting the sausages. I read his button as he turned. The girl stopped smiling. Time stood almost still. It happened in slow motion. They turned and faced each other. Aware of what was about to happen, I tried to swallow but my throat was too dry. Then it happened. It happened yesterday.

Colin and Co.

Fire the Canons!

"to the death" cries the general

to the death young men and old

for your time is up today

your bodies must feed the earth

with your breath broken bones

fight the enemy for glory

for pride and for nothing

not a voice can stop

this violence

not a silence can halt

this war

let your mind be full of hatred

let your mouth overflow with screams

to let live is to give mercy

undeserved and unforgivable

to kill is divine justice

to the death our cause will fall

slay yourselves with murder

stab the one who follows

the opposite way the wrong

they came to meet their maker

they came to meet their taker

of life and hope and song

ignite the wick

propell the lead

fire the canons

we're all dead

Colin and Co.

A series of paragraphs in a story that I have yet to title.

There are many ways of going about finding a mate in Charlie's world. In some far away places people are told who will be their mate when they are still children. It is predetermined. In the part of the world where Charlie lives people have to find their own mates once they reach the age of mating. What exactly this age is, few can agree upon. How one should go about finding one's mate is another unagreed upon. Some of Charlies friends go to social gatherings with the intent of finding a mate. Often there are other people looking for a mate at these gatherings, so the chance of success is fairly high. Charlie's own parents had met in a bar, for instance. Other people spend their time making themselves appear attractive so prospective mates will come to them. This method has mixed results. An increasingly more common choice among Charlie's peers is finding multiple mates for short periods of time, one after the other (or simultaneously), discarding mates as they are bored of them or more attactive mates come along. This new method is attractive because it requires little commitment and shallow emotional connection.

Stay tuned for the next exciting paragraph in Charlie's quest for a mate! If you have suggestions for a title, leave them in the comment box!

Colin and Co.

Firewood

but for now the tree once stood

beside the shed it falls down

one day we will burn the wood

listen to the crackling sound

to keep this country home warm

up to the roof the best view

of sunrise and lightning storm

morning lawn covered in dew

soon to feeze with autumn chill

maple leaves will dye of thirst

heave the axe until the kill

dry wood is split with a burst

pile it high inside the shed

to burn inside the fireplace

when summer is gone and dead

before winter shows its face

but for now the tree once stood

Colin and Co.

Oh, have I got a treat for you!

After that rather depressing poem yesterday, I thought today I would treat you guys to a poem I had to write for grade 12 English class. This was the class that inspired me to become an English major, and it also ignited a passion for writing in me. Although my memory is poor, I believe this may very well be one of the first poems I have ever written! Enjoy.

Choice

A picture may be worth a thousand words,

But I don’t want to talk that long.

Take a good look around the world.

It is clear that something is wrong.

I can see it in nature,

I can see it in people.

I can see it in media,

I can see it right under our steeple.

You know what it is right? Oh, you idiot, can’t you see?

It is sin, death, damnation, straight from the serpent in the tree.

Tree? Yes, the tree! Of knowledge of Good and Evil.

The one that God warned could cause a great upheaval.

Why did He put it there, how could He dare?

How did that snake get in anyway, and why did he care?

Heck, we were mere man, just another animal, that’s all.

Wait, we were God’s image, yes! Then how could we fall?

Oh, right. I forgot about our poor start.

We ate the forbidden fruit of damnation.

We made a choice, then it all fell apart.

We are the ones still messing up Creation.

God gave us a choice, take it or leave it.

We took it, now here we are; wait, you sit!

I know you don’t like hearing this, it makes you feel sick.

But I feel sick too; I feel like a convict.

But it doesn’t end here,

God doesn’t burn us and cheer.

He loves us too much

To see us end in a rush.

So He sent his Son to crush the snake,

And save us from the eternal lake,

Of fire and sulfur and the terrible smell,

Of a nasty, awful, place called Hell.

Here’s the catch; Jesus died to save us all,

But it’s a choice; not something you can buy in the mall.

You have to trust him with all your mind, soul and heart,

Then you and God will never again be apart.

Colin and Co.

A picture of you.

Who's that guy in the picture of you?

Is he a gentleman, humble and true?

Maybe he has on his bum a tatoo

Or maybe a scar

from a fight at bar

Does he have a nice car?

Forget it.

He probably doesn't even think about you

when he sees the sunrise

when he hears the birds sing

when he tastes sweet honey

when he feels the windchill

when he smells like you.

He washes you off, but

like a grass stain

you remain.

Still frame.

The same.

Let us not play the name game,

I don't give a damn

who he is.

Colin and Co.